Mary's Tulips

Mary stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. There was a piece of grass stuck in her grey curly hair.
"Damn deer ate the flowers off every damn one of my tulips."
I nodded and grinned.
"Every fucking damn one of them."
"They must taste good."
"I don't give a damn if they taste good! They don't need ta' eat every damn one!" She laughs.
"Cindy gave me a book it says if you wanna get rid of the deer in your garden to put out a salt lick. Bull shit! Put outta salt lick an that'll jus' bait em' in! Doe stood out in the yard just the other day an' I said "Giiiiiit! Giiiiiiit!  She just stood there lookin' then she finally took off and ran down there through the patch."
She motioned down to the field of weeds and grass that once held rows of strawberries. Over the years, it had become too much for the owners, and they had let the weeds and grass claim it.
"Why don't you plant some more tulips or put a fence up?" I tried to contain my laughter while I looked at my grandmother's sullen face.
"I put a fence up over there for my strawberries last year, and the damn rabbits got down and under the fence!"
"Well, what about the tulips? You could put a little fence up and around the tulips."
"Alison, I ain't wastin my time puttin no damn fence  up and around there. Them deer will just find something else to eat outta the yard. Jake had to go and put that damn salt lick out there and bait em' in. Worthless he is."
I grinned. "Why don't you tell him that?"
"Hey, he knows it! All he wants to do is drink and drink. He knows he's worthless. I quit doin' his laundry. I didn't mind doin' it while he was working, but once he quit working. Well, hey, that's enough of that."
"Draggin mud in and all over the rugs and floor. He knowed it was him. I  said to Nicole so he could hear, "Who in the hell drugged this mud in all over the bathroom rugs?! It looks like somebody shit in here all over the floor!"
We both laughed.
"Well, did he clean it up?"
"Hell no, he just walked on out like he didn't hear. Damn Jake. It did look like somebody shit all over the floor though."